this blog is fictitious. kosova is fictitious. the balkans is fictitious. we took all these pictures at utah lake. vigan and nita are photoshopped with with my super image manipulation skills. we have been in utah this whole time.
b.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
on the way back home from the grocery store, joe met two missionaries of the church of nazareth. They managed to convince joe that the mormon church is not true. this was easy since the two missionaries were two twenty year old hot american girls (one from kansas city and the other one joe doesn't seem to remember)who were looking to get laid in kosova. joe didn't get laid however. but, he converted to the church of nazareth. we even found out that there is a church of nazareth in kosova! i am considering joining le church of nazareth too, and you should too, duh!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
so this was the wall that separated the nude beach with the "normal" beach in ulcinj, montenegro. we almost decided to go to the nude beach but we figured out that there was going to be mostly old people with wrinkly skin and genitals. nita wasn't gonna come with us so we felt bad leaving her alone at the NORMAL beach. me and joe got so curious to see what was going on at the nude beach. so, we climbed the wall and stood up on top of it. vigan was too lazy and not too interested to see wrinkly skin.
there were not that many people there. they saw us looking at them and didn't say anything. they didnt even look back at us. how cool! what we saw was around 15 men with white hair, really tan skin, supersized/stretched balls and wrinkly skin. i think there were three girls there. they were younger than the men there. there was also this couple with two of their little kids. one girl and one boy. man, i would have hated it more than anything if my parents had taken me to a nude beach when i was 5 and all there was to see were stretched balls and deformed penises.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
my brother told me and joe that we dress like farmers. it's kinda true.
also we have way to many photos and i am so lazy to post them. i wish i could post albums like you can on facebook, duh!
vigan bought another renault. that bastard is obsessed with frenchies. this renault is smaller then the other one and we almost suffocated driving around in 40 C weather.
also we have way to many photos and i am so lazy to post them. i wish i could post albums like you can on facebook, duh!
vigan bought another renault. that bastard is obsessed with frenchies. this renault is smaller then the other one and we almost suffocated driving around in 40 C weather.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
we just returned to kosova from a 10 day trip to macedonia, albania, and montenegro. we had a lot of fun. we rode the raddest communist train from prishtina to skopje. i wish that train belonged to me. i would get in on it every single day. i would turn it into this cool hang out place. it was seriously super rad and fun. it had a wooden interior and it was really spacious. the ticket takers (ticket conductors) were really charming with their costumes and black bags around their weist. i also noticed really great german influenced typograpphy on the train stops. it seemed like a thick version of futura. i regret to say that i dont have any pictures of that, but it was really fascinating to see strong typography since i haven't really gotten to see much good typography around this part of the world.
the train ride to macedonia was really great. it was one of my favorite parts of the whole trip. skopje was really hot that day. we got water and started walking around town and than realized that sandys passport was missing. (to fill you in: sandy is my host sister from baltimore. i lived with her family when i went to maryland as an exhchange student for my senior year of high school). living with sandy was great except that times when her family fed me dog food and locked me in the basement. but that story is for other times.
anyway, we went back on the train and found sandy's passort under the seat she was sitting on.
anyway, we took the bus from skopje to ohrid. while we were in skopje we called this guy named antonio in ohrid, and made a reservation at his hostel for 5 people. he asked sandy if all of us were girls and sandy replied "no, two girls and 3 boys." he seemed a little disappointed that we were all girls. however, he insisted that he would meet us at the bus station and take us with his car to the hostel.
on the bus from kopje to hrid we met a young spanish couple, a typical american looking guy from colorado and this guy from new castle. both the american and the brit had shaved heads. they had been teaching english in turkey and now they were traveling around the ballkans. there was this macedonian a few seats in front of us who was apparently mentally retarded. he would get up from his seat and yell at us for not speaking macedonian. his favorite person to yell at was the american guy from colorado. he would turn around and look directly at him with his finger pointed and yell at him. after a while it became very entertaining.
when we arrived at the bus station in ohrid we had lots of people asking us if we wanted a room for really cheap. there was this old man with white hair and a cap who we thought was antonio. we said to him "are you antonio?" he replied "yes!" so we fallowed him. right before we arrived to his car i started doubting that he was antonio. so we said "wait, you are not antonio." and we went back and waited for antonio. the american and the british guy ended up going to the old man with white hair.
antonio's hostel was really great. we had really clean beds and white towels and a clean and functional bathroom. antonio was a really mysterious guy. he seemed really nice though. so did his mother. antonio was really good with bus times and with the other things we needed. one night he told us racist jokes and made crazy over exaggerated gestures while telling the jokes. crazy macedonian!
the night before we left ohrid we thought it'd be a good idea to make joe play songs in a busy street in ohrid. he started singing and an old woman gave him 10 denar (less than 50 cents) within less than a minute. joe looked at us really surprised cause our initial idea was not to ask for money. but then as a joke we opened his guitar case and people started throwing money in it. too bad the owners of the stores in that street would always ask us to leave and go somewhere else. we met two young serbian girls, saska and jovana, who had come to ohrid with a dance team. they loved joe. they were really cute and nice. they were his biggest fans. both of them asked joe for autographs.
we stayed in ohrid for only 2 days. saying goodbye to sandy was really hard. i hadn't seen her for over two years. she went back to skopje and took a bus to dubrovnik, croatia. she flew from dubrovnik to london and then baltimore. we took a bus from ohrid to the border of albania. once we to the macedonian border we had to walk for over a kilometer to the albanian border. they made joe pay a 10 euro tax fee for entering the country. the lady who charged joe 10 euros, for entering her country, just took the money and put it in her pocket. she later used that money to sniff coke...NOT.
we got a taxi from the border to pogradec. pogradec is a small albanian city 15-20 minutes from the border of macedonia. people in albania are crazy drivers. i almost got run over a few times. they are very careless drivers and wouldnt give a shit if they hit you. they probably wouldnt even stop if they hit you. you'd just be left in the middle of the street like a stuffed animal or a human on display.
then from pogradec we rode a mini van taxi to tirana. the roads were nice but super curvy. they made me dizzy. the mini van was really hot.
tirana was a disaster. the city itself is not bad. but everything went wrong for us there. first we were dying because of the 40 C weather. nita knew some girls who work at ogilvy in tirana and asked them if we could leave our bags there until we found a hotel. we went to the ogilvy and drank cold water and rested a bit. the girls working there were very very nice. the ogilvy studio in tirana is only girls. no boys work there. BABE CITY!
anyway we found this hotel called "hotel kalaja". i cant believe that place. we told them we were 4 people and they had only put 3 beds in the room. later we told that we were 4 people and we needed one more bed, and the old lady made a mean face and told us that if we wanted another bed then there is one in the room against the wall. we said well we dont work for this hotel so we'd appreciate it if someone from the hotel would fix it for us. she said to us "well look i am an old lady, don't expect me to fix it for you, you have to fix it" so we just decided to forget it and go on living on 3 beds. everyone was mean and at least we thought they were. even my friend frencis who goes to the same school as me. he is from tirana. he was an ass to all of us. he was the reason we decided to stay in tirana for another night. he said he would take us places the next day. he said he would take us to see castles and what not and got us very excited. he never called us. dumb!
we couldnt wait to get out of tirana and the crazy heat. we took another mini van taxi to vlora (southern albania). the taxi driver was this man around his 50s. he was wearing a black tank top and wasn't wearing any deodorant. every time he'd lift his arms or wave at someone from his van, the smell of his arm pits would hit me right on my face. it was sick! however, he was a really sweet man. he drove so fast, but he was so precise at driving he made the drive to vlora really fun.
from vlora we took a mercedes 300 taxi to dhermi. i forgot to mention that it seems like around 90 % of the cars in albania are mercedes. albania alone could keep merceds in business. i am in love with mercedes buses. they're so charming.
the drive to dhermi was longer than it should have been. it's those damn curvy roads. seriously what the hell? the communist regime in albania made their roads so curvy so that foreign airplanes can't land in their soil. how dumb is that crap! i have heard dumb theories from communists before but this one is probably the dumbest one so far. they also have way to many bunkers on their mountains. they look like mushrooms when you are driving by. concrete mushrooms.
dhermi was gorgeous. it was one of the most beautiful places i have seen. the view of the ocean from the 800 meter mountains was amazing and cold. it felt like spring time. i needed that since the whole trip i was sweating. the place was amazing but once again we were unlucky again with our room. we were put in a dog house. it seriously felt like a dog house. or maybe a horse house. i doubt you could fit a horse there. joe thinks you can, there was a family of roaming horses that terrified nita and vigan to the point of starvation. at any rate, the room was awful. we would have declined the room but everything else was booked. so we were basically screwed for the night. we left our bags in the room, locked the door and went straight to the beach. the water was amazingly clear and super salty. the saltiest water i have ever swam in. it was really beautiful. you could see greek islands from the beach. they spoke albanian and greek there. they also played ugly and disturbing albanian and greek songs. they all had the same rhythm and the same instruments. i felt like vomiting. since this place was a small village and all the hostels and hotels were booked we decided that we wanted to leave the next morning. we were worried about where we would be sleeping that night. so we decided not to sleep. we just decided to look around and try to find something to do. we ran across some lame looking parties and girls with lots of make up on their faces and really short mini skirts. which is hot. it might sound sexy to you but it wasn't. none of them looked at us. they probably thought we were gay or had no fashion sense, or both. which is true.
we were gonna get picked up by our favorite taxi man "gazigazi." he picked us up at 4 in the morning. we slept for a little bit on the beach before we got picked up. it was really cold but really really beautiful. there were so so many stars.
p.s i forgot to mention that while we were in dheri, me and joe ate the best sphagetti with oysters. it wasn't very expensive eaither. i don't remember if it was 4 or 5 euros. bardhi, it was 4 euros. duh. thanks joe. welcome.
we went back to vlora and then back to tirana. from tirana we took a mini bus taxi to shkora and then we took a mercedes taxi (duh!) from shkodra to ulcinj, montenegro.
our taxi driver from shkodra to ulcinj was really boring. most of the taxi drivers are annoying cause they talk to much. this guy never said anything, except he told me that he had been to kosova a couple times. i wanted him to say something. he never did.
ulcinj was so so so hot. and carrying bags in hot weather is one of the crappiest feelings ever. however we found a place for really cheap in one of the best spots in the city. it was this 4 story building and we were on the 4th floor, which meant we got the roof too. the view from our roof was really great. we could see the ocean, the main street, a church, a couple mosques, the castle and a really great tower clock. ulcinj was relaxing. we got to sleep and swim. the day before we left i got red bumps on the left and right side of my stomach. i went to the doctor and he told me that i was allergic to the ulcinj sun. bummer. i had to stay inside the whole day that day. i had to drink those big circle shaped pills that dissolve in water and put some gross looking cream on my red bumps.
i hated the bus from ulcinj to prishtina. it was around 5 hours. they had terrible music playing and moody young people. the mainstream music here never stops getting terrible.
anyway, we are back in prishtina. it's 39 C here today. i haven't gotten any sleep.
i am listening to simian mobile disco. my red bumps are gone. who wants to play?
pictures later.
b.
the train ride to macedonia was really great. it was one of my favorite parts of the whole trip. skopje was really hot that day. we got water and started walking around town and than realized that sandys passport was missing. (to fill you in: sandy is my host sister from baltimore. i lived with her family when i went to maryland as an exhchange student for my senior year of high school). living with sandy was great except that times when her family fed me dog food and locked me in the basement. but that story is for other times.
anyway, we went back on the train and found sandy's passort under the seat she was sitting on.
anyway, we took the bus from skopje to ohrid. while we were in skopje we called this guy named antonio in ohrid, and made a reservation at his hostel for 5 people. he asked sandy if all of us were girls and sandy replied "no, two girls and 3 boys." he seemed a little disappointed that we were all girls. however, he insisted that he would meet us at the bus station and take us with his car to the hostel.
on the bus from kopje to hrid we met a young spanish couple, a typical american looking guy from colorado and this guy from new castle. both the american and the brit had shaved heads. they had been teaching english in turkey and now they were traveling around the ballkans. there was this macedonian a few seats in front of us who was apparently mentally retarded. he would get up from his seat and yell at us for not speaking macedonian. his favorite person to yell at was the american guy from colorado. he would turn around and look directly at him with his finger pointed and yell at him. after a while it became very entertaining.
when we arrived at the bus station in ohrid we had lots of people asking us if we wanted a room for really cheap. there was this old man with white hair and a cap who we thought was antonio. we said to him "are you antonio?" he replied "yes!" so we fallowed him. right before we arrived to his car i started doubting that he was antonio. so we said "wait, you are not antonio." and we went back and waited for antonio. the american and the british guy ended up going to the old man with white hair.
antonio's hostel was really great. we had really clean beds and white towels and a clean and functional bathroom. antonio was a really mysterious guy. he seemed really nice though. so did his mother. antonio was really good with bus times and with the other things we needed. one night he told us racist jokes and made crazy over exaggerated gestures while telling the jokes. crazy macedonian!
the night before we left ohrid we thought it'd be a good idea to make joe play songs in a busy street in ohrid. he started singing and an old woman gave him 10 denar (less than 50 cents) within less than a minute. joe looked at us really surprised cause our initial idea was not to ask for money. but then as a joke we opened his guitar case and people started throwing money in it. too bad the owners of the stores in that street would always ask us to leave and go somewhere else. we met two young serbian girls, saska and jovana, who had come to ohrid with a dance team. they loved joe. they were really cute and nice. they were his biggest fans. both of them asked joe for autographs.
we stayed in ohrid for only 2 days. saying goodbye to sandy was really hard. i hadn't seen her for over two years. she went back to skopje and took a bus to dubrovnik, croatia. she flew from dubrovnik to london and then baltimore. we took a bus from ohrid to the border of albania. once we to the macedonian border we had to walk for over a kilometer to the albanian border. they made joe pay a 10 euro tax fee for entering the country. the lady who charged joe 10 euros, for entering her country, just took the money and put it in her pocket. she later used that money to sniff coke...NOT.
we got a taxi from the border to pogradec. pogradec is a small albanian city 15-20 minutes from the border of macedonia. people in albania are crazy drivers. i almost got run over a few times. they are very careless drivers and wouldnt give a shit if they hit you. they probably wouldnt even stop if they hit you. you'd just be left in the middle of the street like a stuffed animal or a human on display.
then from pogradec we rode a mini van taxi to tirana. the roads were nice but super curvy. they made me dizzy. the mini van was really hot.
tirana was a disaster. the city itself is not bad. but everything went wrong for us there. first we were dying because of the 40 C weather. nita knew some girls who work at ogilvy in tirana and asked them if we could leave our bags there until we found a hotel. we went to the ogilvy and drank cold water and rested a bit. the girls working there were very very nice. the ogilvy studio in tirana is only girls. no boys work there. BABE CITY!
anyway we found this hotel called "hotel kalaja". i cant believe that place. we told them we were 4 people and they had only put 3 beds in the room. later we told that we were 4 people and we needed one more bed, and the old lady made a mean face and told us that if we wanted another bed then there is one in the room against the wall. we said well we dont work for this hotel so we'd appreciate it if someone from the hotel would fix it for us. she said to us "well look i am an old lady, don't expect me to fix it for you, you have to fix it" so we just decided to forget it and go on living on 3 beds. everyone was mean and at least we thought they were. even my friend frencis who goes to the same school as me. he is from tirana. he was an ass to all of us. he was the reason we decided to stay in tirana for another night. he said he would take us places the next day. he said he would take us to see castles and what not and got us very excited. he never called us. dumb!
we couldnt wait to get out of tirana and the crazy heat. we took another mini van taxi to vlora (southern albania). the taxi driver was this man around his 50s. he was wearing a black tank top and wasn't wearing any deodorant. every time he'd lift his arms or wave at someone from his van, the smell of his arm pits would hit me right on my face. it was sick! however, he was a really sweet man. he drove so fast, but he was so precise at driving he made the drive to vlora really fun.
from vlora we took a mercedes 300 taxi to dhermi. i forgot to mention that it seems like around 90 % of the cars in albania are mercedes. albania alone could keep merceds in business. i am in love with mercedes buses. they're so charming.
the drive to dhermi was longer than it should have been. it's those damn curvy roads. seriously what the hell? the communist regime in albania made their roads so curvy so that foreign airplanes can't land in their soil. how dumb is that crap! i have heard dumb theories from communists before but this one is probably the dumbest one so far. they also have way to many bunkers on their mountains. they look like mushrooms when you are driving by. concrete mushrooms.
dhermi was gorgeous. it was one of the most beautiful places i have seen. the view of the ocean from the 800 meter mountains was amazing and cold. it felt like spring time. i needed that since the whole trip i was sweating. the place was amazing but once again we were unlucky again with our room. we were put in a dog house. it seriously felt like a dog house. or maybe a horse house. i doubt you could fit a horse there. joe thinks you can, there was a family of roaming horses that terrified nita and vigan to the point of starvation. at any rate, the room was awful. we would have declined the room but everything else was booked. so we were basically screwed for the night. we left our bags in the room, locked the door and went straight to the beach. the water was amazingly clear and super salty. the saltiest water i have ever swam in. it was really beautiful. you could see greek islands from the beach. they spoke albanian and greek there. they also played ugly and disturbing albanian and greek songs. they all had the same rhythm and the same instruments. i felt like vomiting. since this place was a small village and all the hostels and hotels were booked we decided that we wanted to leave the next morning. we were worried about where we would be sleeping that night. so we decided not to sleep. we just decided to look around and try to find something to do. we ran across some lame looking parties and girls with lots of make up on their faces and really short mini skirts. which is hot. it might sound sexy to you but it wasn't. none of them looked at us. they probably thought we were gay or had no fashion sense, or both. which is true.
we were gonna get picked up by our favorite taxi man "gazigazi." he picked us up at 4 in the morning. we slept for a little bit on the beach before we got picked up. it was really cold but really really beautiful. there were so so many stars.
p.s i forgot to mention that while we were in dheri, me and joe ate the best sphagetti with oysters. it wasn't very expensive eaither. i don't remember if it was 4 or 5 euros. bardhi, it was 4 euros. duh. thanks joe. welcome.
we went back to vlora and then back to tirana. from tirana we took a mini bus taxi to shkora and then we took a mercedes taxi (duh!) from shkodra to ulcinj, montenegro.
our taxi driver from shkodra to ulcinj was really boring. most of the taxi drivers are annoying cause they talk to much. this guy never said anything, except he told me that he had been to kosova a couple times. i wanted him to say something. he never did.
ulcinj was so so so hot. and carrying bags in hot weather is one of the crappiest feelings ever. however we found a place for really cheap in one of the best spots in the city. it was this 4 story building and we were on the 4th floor, which meant we got the roof too. the view from our roof was really great. we could see the ocean, the main street, a church, a couple mosques, the castle and a really great tower clock. ulcinj was relaxing. we got to sleep and swim. the day before we left i got red bumps on the left and right side of my stomach. i went to the doctor and he told me that i was allergic to the ulcinj sun. bummer. i had to stay inside the whole day that day. i had to drink those big circle shaped pills that dissolve in water and put some gross looking cream on my red bumps.
i hated the bus from ulcinj to prishtina. it was around 5 hours. they had terrible music playing and moody young people. the mainstream music here never stops getting terrible.
anyway, we are back in prishtina. it's 39 C here today. i haven't gotten any sleep.
i am listening to simian mobile disco. my red bumps are gone. who wants to play?
pictures later.
b.
ok so someone better fly me to new york right now! i am in big trouble! nita's boss found the blog, and he noticed that we have not only devastated ogilvy's office in kosovo but we also trashed their office in albania!
too bad david ogilvy is dead. otherwise i'd call him and tell him to ask fisi for mercy!
this is what fisi wrote us:
'Dear Bardhi,
It just so happens that I accidentaly (being an avid googler) found this nice blog.
Incidentally, I also happen to be THE PERSON you wished will never see this blog... ever... which identifies me Nita's BOSS!
I hope you can live with a clear conscience, having in mind that because of you Nita will get fired (from her job and I will set her on fire, too), I will shave Vigan's hair and i will hunt you and Joe to eternity, rip your hearts out and eat them raw!
As for Ron, I know where he lives...
Yours truly,
Fisi - Nita's BOSS!"
too bad david ogilvy is dead. otherwise i'd call him and tell him to ask fisi for mercy!
this is what fisi wrote us:
'Dear Bardhi,
It just so happens that I accidentaly (being an avid googler) found this nice blog.
Incidentally, I also happen to be THE PERSON you wished will never see this blog... ever... which identifies me Nita's BOSS!
I hope you can live with a clear conscience, having in mind that because of you Nita will get fired (from her job and I will set her on fire, too), I will shave Vigan's hair and i will hunt you and Joe to eternity, rip your hearts out and eat them raw!
As for Ron, I know where he lives...
Yours truly,
Fisi - Nita's BOSS!"
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
